Thursday, February 25, 2010

my attention is a privilage

the technological revolution has afforded us with many conveniences. accelerated communication, higher quality media, and generally a wider range of accessible porn, all being prime examples of this.

but like when you first get pay tv, all this additional coverage of what the world has to offer brings on one stark realisation: people are freakin morons. frustrating, annoying morons.

the internet is serious business, and if you dont have anything awesome, funny, or awesomely funny to share with the rest of us, shut the fuck up. seriously.
your crappy day to day life really isn't that interesting. in fact, its infuriatingly mundane.

nobody cares that you're having chicken for dinner and that it promises to be "yum :)". i hope you get salmonella food poisoning, bitch. oh wow, you saw a new movie and think its really good? yeah, well, i think stabbing you in the face would be really good. and despite the apparently popular rumours circling, the fact that youre having a bad day doesnt affect me in the slightest. i am indifferent to your suffering, lame-oid, and so is everyone else who has the misfortune of seeing any of your thousand-per-day facebook status updates.

a 'cell phones and laptops being confiscated' or 'fingers being broken' policy needs to start immediately (whatevers easier, 'sall tomayto tomarto to me) on the grounds of gross misuse. because you people actually make me wanna poke my own eyeballs out with a soldering iron just so i dont bare witness to any more pure stupidity.

if you are connected to me via any network at all and post this type of verbal diarrhoea, ever, i will cut ties with you. i dont care who you are - friend, family or business. ignorance of your existence will vastly improve my life experience, and i will act accordingly. so if you suddenly find out that we're not "friends" anymore, then congraulations, youre an idiot.


  1. 1) WHAT a hypocrite! look at you, spouting rubbish about people spouting rubbish!

    2) I think you mean " 'bear' witness to any more pure stupidity."

    3) Solution: don't have these people as facebook friends

    PS: if you delete me i will not hesitate in ruining your life. Love ya! xx

  2. 1. accusing nappyface of talking shit is like accusing water of being wet - a tad bit on the redundant side there, holmes.

    besides, everything from the gospel according to naps (also known as the testament of awesome) is pure win. if your opinion is even slightly different from this, you are wrong.

    2. fair enough call.

    dont expect me to change it, though.

    3. thats exactly what i said im gonna do and thats exactly what im gonna do. i just thought a word of warning was in order before i started dishing out the roundhouse kick of silence to every dumbass within my e-radius.

  3. Your answers satisfy and pacify me.