the official nappyface story

k, so, if you didnt already know, my real name is "john", "johnny" or "fuckwit" (depending on who you ask), but people usually call me naps. naps, nappy, nappizzle or some stupid variation thereof. straight up, you can ask my mates. theyll both vouch for my story. its actually short for nappyface. and people always ask me "why do they call you nappyface?" and i always tell them "nah, its dumb story".
"oh, but youre a funny guy, just make it a interesting!"
"yeah, well, youre a dick and an asshole. go fuck yourself."

and there you have it, the reason they call me nappyface - 'cause i have such a fuckin potty mouth.

but seeing as my life is a movie and you all just play supporting roles in this action comedy epic, its only fitting that this 'DVD extra' of a blog post offers alternate endings. other possible reasons for nappyface being my leading alias include:

-because of my youthful appearance. like young MC, kid'n'play, shyheim the rugged child and other assorted hiphoppers of yesteryear, my name will be outdated by the time you finish reading this sentence. that alone gives me more street cred than all of 50 cents nine bullets comined. and you can also find me in da club.

-because nappy is another word for natty (natural), and i hardly ever shave. and hence nappyface. it scares off all the squares and is a good excuse to be the most sociopathic hippie since manson. now i just gotta get onto that revolution we all need.

-because, if you havent guessed by now, i talk a whole load of shit and suckas always believe it. for all you know, the name coulda simply came about from one night when i was 15, drunk off kentucky gold and a few of the boys thought it would be funny to call me a competely meaningless and non-sensical name, that just kinda stuck ever since. is that the true origin? or is nappyface just talking shit again? ha, ill never tell. fools.

closure is for cry babies and girly men, so go to a massage parlour if you want a happy ending. im the goddamn nappyface, and i offer no apologies nor any explanations. deal with it.