Saturday, May 3, 2008

unicyclist is a synonym for douchebag

at uni every now and then a big crew of unicyclists show up during the day to have a jam. fair enough. but theyre such fucking dicks about it.

i was watching them today for about 15 minutes before i had to leave out of pure disgust. the audacity of these dudes is mind boggling - theyre the ones prancing about on a circus form of transportation during lunch hour on a university campus, and for some outlandishly fucked reason think THEY have the right to the footpaths. i even saw a couple of them evil eye a chick up for 'being in their way' when one of them nearly bumped into her after a botched trick. unbelievable.

furthermore, they think theyre hot shit because of it, too. theyre somehow under the impression that unicycling is the next 'big' extreme sport, and that everyone else is nowhere near cool enough to understand. all got their knee and shin pads on, wearing tshirts of their favourite unicycle brands and shit. they roll around in a big crew like the mickey fucking mouse club in a 'hey, look at us, we're the da bomb!' kinda way. (yeah, i'd imagine they actually still say shit like 'da bomb' too). i expect this from teenagers, but still pulling this shit after your 21st is straight up pathetic.

uh, i dont know if youve noticed this buddy ...but thats a fuckin unicycle. not a harley davidson. stop strutting your stuff like you deserve our lips on your ass, you wannabe peacock motherfuckers. youre not the cool kids, youre a bunch of fucking clowns. literally.

how many chicks has the average uncyclist ever got just 'cause hes a unicyclist? i know how many: fuck all. the average janitors probably got more game solely from being a janitor than a unicyclist has ever got. period. the only time a single wheel is ever cool is when its a chain steering wheel attached muscle-car-on-steroids so bad ass people cross the road just to avoid it. you unicyclist fags are just shit on wheels, as far as i can see.

get a real hobby, fucktards.


  1. i like how you said "but still pulling this shit after your 21st is straight up pathetic". Nice one, mister 21-and-9-days.