lil wayne
somehow, a rapper that looks like a vandalised gollywog doll and sounds like fran drescher on methadone managed to fool the kids into thinking hes the hottest to do it right now. that means that hes either a nasal toned pied piper, or a kind of musical child predator. which, i guess, is essentially the same thing.
either way, a swift kick square in the nads is just what the doctor ordered. and with a bit of luck, the resulting damage would render his voice too high for the human ear to hear, leaving only dogs to put up with his shit. who i presume would quickly maul him to death for having such an undeserved sense of self accomplishment anyway, so problem solved.
bonus:
paris hilton
wait, now i know what youre thinking, "oh c'mon, balls in the mouth dont count" (oh snap!), but i mean, have you heard this bitch talk? when not putting on her 'cute' persona for interviews and publicity, her voice is in a pitch that can only be described as 'testicular'. if her voice is anything to go by, shes packin a couple of bowling balls in a potato sack. so with the existence of her hairy plums established, the reasons for them needing to be kicked in seem to present themselves.
for starters, being a talentless whore thats famous for no justifiable reason whatsoever is reason enough to cunt-punt any slapper that even looks like her. its like being a total slut is the only thing shes good for. but if youve seen her sextape, youll know shes not even good for that. "one night in paris" is the "batman and robin" of porno - a piece of demon crap that only got any attention because of the celebrity starring in it. and when you suck at sucking, thats beyond a double negitive. thats epic fail. bitch.
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